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THE PLOT: In a bistro in Paris a young woman (A) tells her three girlfriends (B, C, and D) about the affair she had with an American tourist, who returned home promising to write, and hasn't. It's been over two weeks; something must have happened to him. (She has just learned she is carrying his child, but she doesn't tell her friends.) B tells her to call him; C to e-mail him; D to forget all about him. Enter a fat American couple; each of them has a different speech impediment. They order food. The man chokes. A performs the Heimlich maneuver on him, and saves his life.

HARMLESS
Amy Woolensack

 

Zachary Piper
March 23 11:13pm
Poke!

Angélique Lafleur
March 24 4:07pm
Poke!

Zachary Piper
March 29 10:56pm
Wink!

Angélique Lafleur
March 31 2:11pm
Wink!

Zachary Piper
April 3 10:28am
Wink! your really hot! u really live n france? cuz id luv 2 meet up with u ;) what r u into?

Angélique Lafleur
April 4 6:15am
Zachary, Thank you for your compliment. yes, I live in Paris. I like too your face, most of all your eyes and nose. I enjoy my work in a small clothing boutique and my nights are fun with a lot of the dancing in the clubs with my girlfriends. Which are the activities you enjoy to do?

April 7 6:43pm
You have a friend request.
Zachary Piper (New York)
You have no friends in common.
Confirm
Ignore
Send Message

Zachary Piper
April 7 6:55pm
i can picture u dancing with a bunch of your friends! so hot! i work for a big investment banking firm so i work killer hours. when i cut loose at night, i love to party hard with my boys. i think we have a lot in common. do u have any other pictures? maybe you on 1 of those topless beaches?lol-z

April 8 3:38pm
Angélique accepted your friend request.

Angélique Lafleur
April 8 4:01pm
Silly Zachary, my new funny friend. You may find many photographs of myself at my profile. I am sorry to say i am having clothes in every photographs. You must have a excellent imagination. I will be using my imagination when I think of you. bisous (kisses)--Angélique

Zachary Piper
April 12 10:14am
hey, angelique! this is weird but I was hoping we could hook up next week. im coming 2 paris 2 handle some business, but i’ll have some free time over the weekend. i really think we have something going here. so u wanna hook up?xxx (thats kisses in america)---z

Zachary Piper
April 14 9:43am
did u get my message? what do u think? about meeting?

Angélique Lafleur
April 15 3:51pm
We are having a nice time with the messages, no? This flirting is fun and so harmless. Should we not keep it like this?

Zachary Piper
April 15 4:27pm
think of how much (harmless) fun we could have together in the same city! i really wanna c u! xxx

Angélique Lafleur
April 16 12:21pm
I am very flattered, Zachary. But perhaps this will not work. We each know so little about the other. What can one tell from a few words on a computer screen? Perhaps I am more cautious from you.

April 16 4:31pm
Angélique Lafleur received a gift
A Dozen Long-Stem Roses
Private
Zachary Piper

Zachary Piper
April 16 5:12pm
dear angelique, your right. u don’t know a lot about me. all i can say is i feel a connection 2 u & i did right when i first saw your beautiful face. we can meet-public place-no pressure-we’ll get a drink and see what happens. keeping my fingers crossed-zach xxx

Angélique Lafleur
April 17 5:02am
Thank you for the flowers. Do you know what is the meaning of my name? You will find the number for my mobile phone at my profile. We can meet a small bistro near to my home. -A

Zachary Piper
April 18 4:20pm
my angel, glad u changed your mind. ;) i’m leaving on tuesday but ill be busy with work until friday. i’ll give you a call friday nite.xxx-z

Zachary Piper
May 26 4:38pm
hey, hopping on my plane now. it was great-great city-great time with you, angel baby.keep in touch-z

Angélique Lafleur
April 28 3:52pm
Dearest Zachary, What a lovely time we spent together! I am still thinking of you. I am hoping you have made a easy trip home and I wait for the sexy letters between you and I to begin. xxxx-A

Angélique Lafleur
May 2 1:09pm
Zachary, surely you are back to work now. please let me to know you have arrived home safely xxx--Angélique

Angélique Lafleur
May 23 3:31am
Zachary, I am worried and we need to speak together. Because you are not giving me answers, I have been turning to my friends for them. The only advice that makes sense for me is this, writing again. Again. It is the only choice I have, really. There is no way for me to call you, no number where I can reach you. Forgetting you and our weekend will also be too hard for me. We must really talk soon.-Angélique.

Angélique Lafleur
May 29 4:01am
I suppose you can ignore my messages forever. Perhaps I am already forgotten. However, forgetting you is not a realistic answer for me. You have made this impossible for me by leaving with me a very big (very tiny) reminder. Please contact me-Angélique

Angélique Lafleur
June 4 12:16am
You will not answer, but this does not mean you are not reading all my messages. In this way, you are my captive audience and I shall tell you about this eventful day and the thing I have learned from it.
Do you recall the place where we met, L’Alouette? In that same bistro where one american changed my life, another was saved by me. This american was very fat and he had terrible manners and as he was speaking he was also spitting in all the directions. When he begin to choke, his very fat wife was screaming “Ha ha help him!” She just stood by his side, screaming. Like you, I jump in without thinking. I leaped from the chair and grabbed this fat man and squeezed him until he was talking and spitting once again.
As I have told to you before, while you may go to work and see your friends, all without a thought of me, a part of you will be with me always. And I can live with this. Goodbye.


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