THE PLOT: In a bistro in Paris a young woman (A) tells her three girlfriends (B, C, and D) about the affair she had with an American tourist, who returned home promising to write, and hasn't. It's been over two weeks; something must have happened to him. (She has just learned she is carrying his child, but she doesn't tell her friends.) B tells her to call him; C to e-mail him; D to forget all about him. Enter a fat American couple; each of them has a different speech impediment. They order food. The man chokes. A performs the Heimlich maneuver on him, and saves his life.

HE DID, EH?
Nick Montfort

"DR. ACAS... I’ve no note. Janus, no?"
"No revue?"
"Names net a serif."
"Anna?"

Gulp pots. Gag-a-lot, siphon ample.
Yon’s time: El Prupe Café.

"No stops, Anna? Tardy? So, call up Rex."
"Attn: Email rapt nailer!"
"Deep-six elf-man-wolf."

("Maid, I am flown, am flex. I speed,
reliant parliament taxer.")

Pull a cosy...drat.

Anna spots one face:
-Purple.
-Emits no yelp, man!

Oh, pistol! A gag-stop plug.
Anna fires a tense maneuver. On, on, sun...

A jet, on one Visa card.