5. A Francophile Speaks
I HAD not long been in this city of romance when I heard a tale which typified for me all things parisiennes. The scene was played out in one of those delightful little bistros which are particularly delightful in the arrondissement in which I happened to find my temporary abode. There were four charming young women, a "petite bande" de nos jours, seated at a table. They were enjoying a tête-à-tête, as it were, à quatre. One, Albertine I like to think, was telling her companions how her belovèd had departed for his homeland, the United States of America, two weeks since and had sent nary a word. She seemed much concerned at this state of affairs and was, I have subsequently learnt, somewhat enceinte. One of her companions suggested a coup de fil to the gentleman, another a courrier électronique. A third commented that c'est la vie and counselled her, somewhat hard-heartedly I thought, to put the whole business out of her mind.
What followed could, I believe, happen only in Paris. By the strangest of coincidences there entered two further denizens of the fair land of the United States, époux and épouse. I have no wish to demean those who seek pleasure in la gastronomie,for I am of their number. But in the case of our two new arrivals the consequences of such sybaritic enjoyment were plain to see in--there is, I fear, no kinder word--the rotundity of their appearance. Their speech, too, was striking. One was prone to bégayer, the other to balbutier. They each ordered a sandwich. In the normal course of events this would be the most mundane of matters. But this was Paris. The American monsieur on attempting to consume said sandwich (I believe it was a croque monsieur), suffered a grievous bout of expectoration giving his physiognomy a decidedly purple hue. To the rescue, none other than Albertine. She seizes him, kneads his stomach, performs a myriad other movements wondrous to behold. Whether the life thus apparently saved added or not to the gaiety of nations, who can say? But, as French Boy Scouts say, Sauve qui peut.
